Let's talk about bleaching

Personally, I have no problems with anyone who wants to bleach their skin. It's not my skin, is it?
Putting on make-up is also very damaging to the skin. Some choose to change the color of their skin, others the texture of their hair, others lashes, lips, boobs, etc.


There is a reason people bleach. I might get condemned for stating my position but, I have been on that side and I can relate.

My light skinned friend and I went to GAMA Films sometime in the 90s. I needed to pick up my
paycheck. My check was forgotten when the male dominated office laid eyes on this friend of mine. They fawned and fanned and drooled until we left. I went back there the next day and the only thing they could talk about was my friend. My father had stroke, I was broke. Yet, my check was forgotten. It took Stacy Amoateng, whom I ran into as I made my way out the premises to feed that week. We took a taxi together, and when she got to her destination, she paid the fare but a bunch of notes spilled from her pocket. She quickly run off whiles I was gathering the money. I called her later and asked where to meet her and get the money back to her. But she'd allowed the money to spill on purpose knowing my plight.

Sometime after, another light skinned friend and I went for a job interview. The man at the desk called her 'fine girl' and she got the job, I didn't. This is someone who could neither spell nor speak good enough English. But she got a job; in an office, Fedex office.

I was on set when our make-up artist pulled me aside and said one of the actors complained that the powder being used on her was making her look darker than usual.

Another actress told me she was bleaching because, she does not get jobs because of her dark skin.

A movie distributor mentioned that, their audience prefers the light skinned actors or the ones with humongous boobs.

You cannot call a girl ugly and then castigate her when she tries to bleach to look pretty. We grew up hearing phrases like: "Akosombo light", 'tomato', 'yellow cece', 'yevu', 'yeye' and as such. Light skin is considered an attribute of beauty.

A dark skinned girl, or a girl with things going for her: education, wealth, social class etc finds it easy to condemn others for bleaching. What about the dark skinned girl who believes she has nothing going for her?  My father had stroke, we were broke, I washed my hair with key soap because I couldn't afford to visit the salon. I was selling ice cream and jewelry. No matter how well I could write a cover letter or my impeccable resume, it still boiled down to who found me pretty enough before I could get anywhere. The day I bought bleaching cream was the day I got a scholarship to go to SCAD.

Lupita Nyong'o. She went to Yale. She is a government ministers daughter, she was born in Mexico, she comes from prestige and wealth. She had her challenges, but she also had a sure footing, now she has an Oscar and more.

Instead of castigating a person who bleaches, find out the underlying reason. Encourage girls, boys, to seek pride in not their physical appearance but their skill. Encourage education, skill acquisition etc.
Start a campaign to encourage people to desist from calling their fellow humans ugly.  On TV, you only see flawless looking people. Which is why we are all raving about Lupita and Alek Wek. They are flawless, in what has been called the unconventional way. That says, anyone, anyone can achieve success. It doesn't matter what you look like.

I've stopped caring about those who call me ugly. They have nothing else to say. Nothing else to attack, and I know they're lashing out of jealousy. Who won't be jealous of a pretty, tiny lil girl who does this for a living?

Not every girl has the kind of story I have. God graces us all differently. My parents set the tone for my scholarship. They fed my dreams. Same to be said about someone like Lupita. I heard her parents encouraged her career. But, it's not only a parent who raises a child. Society must as well.

Tell that girl you see everyday she is beautiful, that her future success is not based on her physical attributes, attributes that will fade, but on her success in education and skill acquisition.  Dreaming dreams. Good ones. A face could get burned, boobs will sag, butts will lose their value. But the work of your hands, your skill, your talent will survive long after you have gone. Stevie Wonder is blind but he can make some beautiful music. There's that man with no legs, but man, can he articulate.

There are some who have no intention of working or earning their own keep. Thus, they'd rather enhance their physical appearance to attract men. Or rather, they are of the opinion that, looking 'sexy' will bring them into the presence of wealthy men who'd sponsor them. Kept women.

So long as society places the man above all species, when marriage is considered the ultimate, when having a man in your life certifies your worth, so long as beauty trumps skill, beauty enhancing techniques will continue to be popular. And, so long as some men continue to be babies who require women who will be subject to them, need them, make them "feel like a man', these will continue.

When women are encouraged to work for their property, where you don't need a man to buy you
 property or approve of you, when the idea of being a kept woman becomes a thing of the past, the emphasis on physical attributes will somewhat diminish. A friend told me, "Leila gain weight so you can get married". Right there, I decided to remain skinny. I'm not going to stuff my face with food and develop any kind of sickness in my quest to please society. If I decide to gain weight, it will be because I want to. On my own accord, to please me and only me.

Your success is not based on your looks. It is based on the perfection of your talent. Your skill. Do not conform to other peoples standards. Do not aspire to be like anyone else. If you ask me who my role model is, I'll give you a blank stare because I do not have one. I do not believe in reading about someone online or watching them on TV and right there and then believe they are perfect. I know I am seeing only about 15% of their lives. I do not know the whole story. Publicity, branding, all those things are staged. I aspire to be like no one but myself. Don't lose yourself to please anyone. Whatever name they call you, it is what THEY call you. That's not what your parents, your loved ones or God calls you. Everybody has a weakness, everyone has a fault. So do you. Look for it and fix, not to please anyone but to make you a better person, for you.

When you bleach your skin, or engage in enhancement of butts and breasts and lashes and all the others, you are being controlled by someone else. You are conforming to someone else' definition of YOUR beauty. God, nature, destiny, whatever you want to call it, knows why you came out looking like this. It doesn't take away from what you can contribute to your existence or your destiny. Be thankful and live the best you can.